heart beats - i am a firstborn || manila destination wedding & travel photographer

this is not a recent revelation for me. not one bit.

i’m the oldest in my family of origin… the firstborn. there’s a lot that comes with being a firstborn. some stuff that is expected of you, said or silent. you are your parents experiment child; the one they try and do their very best with all they have, the one who gets the good bad and the ugly of the deal.

i often think about our firstborn and wince…yes i’m already saving money for his therapy sessions one day….i joke..but not really. :)

Upload from March 13, 2012

we are away at the beach this week for a few days for a much needed family re-connecting. j has been traveling, we have had a phlethora of visitors..we needed to have some “us” time.and it’s been wonderful so far. it’s day 2. :)

Upload from March 13, 2012

Upload from March 13, 2012

i brought one book to read on this trip - usually i’ll bring a couple with the good intentions of reading them all…but really, it never happens. (high acheiver - firstborn sign right there!) so i brought one.

it’s called Born to Win by Dr. Kevin Leman. it’s got 11 chapters. i’ve gotten thru 5 of them and if i can say one word so far - WOW!

Upload from March 13, 2012

it’s like he’s been reading my mail or something. so much i can relate to…some i can’t. but the parts i can…wow. WOW!

here are some of the highlights so far that i am mulling over…

~first borns are the natural movers and shakers. they are the leaders. they can accomplish just about anything. p 11

~taking the initiative is a natural tendency of firstborns and its a quality that often leads them to positions of leadership. p 23

~the axionms of the firstborn: “everyone depends on me”, “i can’t get away with anything”, “it’s tough being the oldest”, “i was never allowed to be a child”, “if i dont do it, it wont get done”, “if i dont do it, it wont get done right”, “i never said i wanted to be a role model”, “boy if i acted the way you do…”, “mom never let me do that when i was your age”, “why do i have to do it? they never do anything around here”. p 25

~it’s a misconception to think that children who grow up in the same family grow up in the same environment. they don’t at all. p 27

~people refer to us as “bossy” but we are number one on speed dial if someone is in crisis or when someone wants a project done to tight specifications. we know how to take charge and move through the work. we know what to say and do to solve the problem. it comes naturally to us. its what we’ve been primed to do since day one. its not hard to tell in the the short space of a conversations who is a firstborn and who is a lastborn. p 60

there are SO many amazing pieces written about how we, firstborns, are like. i can so relate on so many levels. the last chapter i read, “why firstborns are the way they are”  had so many good pieces - firstborn perks, firstborn challenges, things all firstborns hear, things all firstborns say. there is one part in the chapter about the healthy perfectionist or discouraged perfectionist. i TOTALLY recognized i’m the later. wow. that’s when i stopped reading and went for a dip in the water.. :)

Upload from March 13, 2012

there is a lady in the US who formed a group for girls and women - it’s called the firstborn girls club. i TOTALLY want in! the thought struck me, why dont i start one here?? now isn’t that a firstborn thing or what to think? :) but i seriously would consider it.. :)

the acronym for the name was awesome:



















WOW, hey??? i totally appreciated all those characteristics! :)

Upload from March 13, 2012

anyhow..that is my read this week..and i would HIGHLY recommend any firstborn to read it. or if you want to understand firstborns, then read it. :)

so my question to you: if you are a firstborn, which things i have mentioned above can you identify with?

back to the beach and reading i go!


Upload from March 13, 2012

all photos taken with my trusty iphone 4. :)

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